Mr. Ceremonial First Pitch Thrower-Outer

bud light presents real men of genius

(real men of genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Ceremonial First Pitch Thrower-Outer
(Mr. Ceremonial First Pitch Thrower-Outer)

Dressed in slacks, button down shirt and ball cap, you take to the mound announcing to everyone in attendance I am fully prepared to make a complete fool of myself.

(You're on TV)

Over the backstop, half way to the plate, in to the back of the umpire's head, who knows where your throw will land.

(It hit me in the groin)

Your fastball was clocked at a breath-taking 8 1/2 miles per hour

(That's almost ten)

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light O Friar of the fireball, watching you will always be our favorite pastime.